


Bed of Roses

by PhoenixFlare4489



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Broken Promises, Character Death, Depression, Grief/Mourning, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt/Comfort, KageHina - Freeform, Karasuno, M/M, Nekoma, One-Sided Attraction, Romance, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, catching feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:22:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28922016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixFlare4489/pseuds/PhoenixFlare4489
Summary: Hinata Shoyo was always an intense person so it was no surprise when that same aspect came to love. You see when he fell as a kid and scraped his knees he could always get back up and walk it off, this was something completely different. This he could not ignore until it was all better, especially when it was all he could see looking back at him in the mirror.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 1
Kudos: 14





	Bed of Roses

Hinata had always looked sick before a game, although recently, he looked even worse. Karasuno was about to face Nekoma in a practice game. Both teams were excited to verse one another again, whether it be a tournament game or not.

“Hey buddy, you good there? You look paler than usual,” Tanaka’s voice was quick to startle the orange-haired boy who was well equipped with nerves. Hinata was quite aware of the way he looked. His eyes were sunken in and his body looked pale and sickly, if only they knew.

“Yeah, as much as I hate to admit it, Tanaka’s right. Are you sure you don’t want to sit this one out?” Suga placed a hand onto his shoulder as a form of comfort, but all it did was irritate the middle blocker.

“Stop, as long as I can still jump, I’m fine,” Hinata shrugged his hand off. He knew if he kept this up, he would only make it worse. The physical exertion of volleyball only left him with a burn in his lungs and a wary glance from Yamaguchi.

The team knew not to pry; something had obviously changed in the past few weeks as they watched their ball of sunshine fall into a look of desperation. His head was clouded and his performance was starting to drop and become sloppy. Every wince, every hesitation, every fuck up, only broke the team's heart.

Hinata felt a warm hand grab his upper arm. Yamaguchi. It was nothing romantic, that’s for sure. Yams had fallen head or heels in love with Tsukishima, and luckily those feelings were reciprocated. He pulled him to the side a bit and lowered his voice.

“Come get me if you need to go, okay?” He was one of the two people that Hinata had entrusted with the truth, with what was really happening behind the locked bathroom door. Kenma being the second.

The game went smoothly, Karasuno winning the first set and Nekoma the second. Now it was neck and neck to see which school would score the winning point for their team. If Hinata wasn’t messing up before, he surely was now.

The game had worked him into exhaustion, which didn’t sit right with his already weak frame. His knees were prepared to buckle at any second and sweat dropped off the side of his cheeks, or were they tears? He didn’t know at this point. He couldn’t feel his surroundings, let alone the liquid dripping off his face.

The pain was excruciating like a knife was being ripped through his chest. But he still persevered, refusing to succumb to his searing lungs and aching heart. He had to keep going. He couldn’t let his team down. So he ignored the light feeling in his head and the torturous state of his body.

“It’s a chance ball!” Nishinoya’s voices echoed off the gym walls and barely registered in Hinata’s mind. Everything was fuzzy, but it didn’t matter.

“I got it,” Daichi called for the ball and received it perfectly. First touch gone. Now Kageyama needed to set it. Second touch gone. Hinata used his adrenaline to run across the court as fast as possible. With the last of his energy, he jumped as high as he could.

“Bring it here!” He had to make it. He had to hit it. Or all his work and efforts weren’t worth it- they weren’t enough. He’d already outrun the blockers. Now he just needed to hit it. He closed his eyes. He trusted Kageyama to bring the ball to him, and he did.

The only sign was the sound of the ball hitting the floor and the burn in his hand from the impact. Hinata didn’t get to bask in the glory for a moment longer. His body slammed into the floor, efficiently knocking all the air out of his body.

He hadn’t even noticed the scream that had escaped his lips or the way his teammates froze in time before they realized he wasn’t getting up. Instead, his body shook on the floor as sobs racked through his body. The burning was back. It felt like scratching in his lungs. It felt like he was suffocating. _Why does this have to be happening to me?_

“Hinata!” Kageyama was first to reach him, sliding against the floor while thanking his parents for his knee pads. Something had to have been wrong. Kageyama said what they were all thinking, “He always gets back up… why won't he get back up?”

“I think he might’ve broken something, Everyone step back and give him some space,” Daichi moved his arms out to push everyone away except Kageyama and himself. He was in so much pain, but it wasn't from the fall that had just taken place. It was from an unrequited love that was slowly tearing him apart from the inside out.

His frame shook roughly as his body forced itself into a coughing fit in an attempt to clear his throat, or lungs would be more appropriate. Yamaguchi and Kenma rushed to his side when the coughing started knowing exactly what was about to happen. Each of the boys placed an arm over their shoulders.

“Listen, Shoyo, we’re taking you to the bathroom, okay? Just hold on a little longer,” Kenma prayed to a God he didn't believe in that it wouldn’t happen here and Yams looked scared for his life although he wasn't the one in danger.

“Why don’t you let some of the bigger guys take him, it’ll be easier t-”

“No!” Kenma wasn’t known for raising his voice. Kuroo took a step back, surprised that his own friend would yell at him. That was the moment he knew something was wrong and that he needed to help in the only way he could.

“C’mon everyone. Leave them alone. They can handle it,” though a part of him knew they couldn’t. He watched only a few take a step back, and those who did were hesitant. “Now!” He tried a more aggressive approach hoping they would listen, and they did.

Hinata could barely move on his own. He felt like he was dying. He was suffocating on the silk in his lungs. His skin was burning and he couldn’t see anymore. Blind to anything but the pain in the muscles made to keep him alive.

Blood was dripping from the corner of his mouth while his body continued to convulse. Hinata was trying his hardest not to let the others see what was about to happen. He had to make it there before his body emptied itself of what was plaguing him and his mind. With the help of Kuroo, who really just held the doors open, they made it into the bathroom in time.

Hinata was breathlessly crying out in pain. Thorn like things scratching at his throat, begging to come out. Perhaps that's exactly what they were, or maybe it was the words he longed to say trying to itch their way out. He really wished it had been the latter. Sitting on his knees in front of a school toilet while coughing up black rose petals was not how he expected the end of the game to go. He figured nothing would come close to the pain of loving someone who doesn’t love you back, but this came a close second.

Coughing up the last of the wretched flowers with blood-stained lips and puffy eyes, he turned to Kenma. The dyed blonde had been rubbing his back while Yamaguchi leaned against the stall door waiting for Kuroo to come in with a water bottle Kenma had requested.

“Why Kenma, why won't he love back,” The only color left of Hinata was the orange of his hair and the crimson liquid he'd smeared onto the back of his hand. He wanted nothing but to be numb. He didn't want to feel anymore. The physical pain exhausted his body, and the constant reminder of his one-sided love exhausted his mind.

He never wanted to love again, not if this was how it felt. He hadn’t told anyone yet. Who the culprit was. He never wanted to admit that he’d fallen in love with a boy who would never reciprocate. It’d been like this for two months already, and he knew he was starting to run out of time. Hinata refused to tell the team, hell he hadn’t even told his parents yet.

He was dying. Their son, their teammate, Hinata Shoyo, was dying of Hanahaki disease and didn’t have much time left until the deathly flowers would take over. He was sure within those two months he could’ve moved on… he couldn't have been more wrong.

So sitting on the school’s tiled, bathroom floor, crying into Kenma’s shoulder, he felt like he’d failed. He failed everyone he knew. He’d only been wasting his time getting worse. He had to be in love with a stupid boy who held the world’s most beautiful eyes. _I should just get the surgery at this rate._

He sobbed again as a painful stirring erupted in his chest. Of course, they were growing back already. Usually, he could make it to the bathroom in time, but the game had completely taken all his energy. He felt weak. His entire life was out of his control and sat quietly in the palm of an unsuspecting boy he refused to name. At the same time, Kenma had been wondering where his friend went and who stole the light from his eyes—wondering who stole his passion for life right out from under him. He wondered _for the love of God, why can’t you let him breathe? I need my friend… please don’t take him from me._

“Here, let’s get you cleaned up,” Kenma took hold of Hinata's arm to help him stand up. He gripped onto his arm tightly so he wouldn’t fall and helped him take slow, wobbly steps to the white sinks. His fingers gripped onto the cold porcelain to hold himself up. Kenma was quick to wet a paper towel and wipe the blood from his cheeks and run water over his hand.

Yamaguchi didn’t know what to do, so he moved over to the door to check for Kuroo. The latter just so happened to be making his way down the hallway with the water bottle. Grabbing Yam's attention, he asked, “So what exactly is going on?”

“Well, it’s not really my place to say,” he sighed before peeking his head in to check on the two, “it’s kind of personal.”

“So I’m right, it is something more than an injury,” Yamaguchi froze while swallowing the lump in his throat. _Shit._ He’d been found out. He mentally scolded himself for letting anything slip. He opted to give Kuroo a sort of look that said _drop it now._. And he did. “Here’s the water. Just let me know how he’s doing, everyone is worried out there.”

———

Ever since that day, Hinata had cut back on the amount of physical activity he’d been doing. That was the worst pain he’d ever experienced, and he wasn’t all too excited to experience it again. The flowers were still growing, a constant reminder of his love. When he was around the boy, for a moment, everything felt okay. Like he would make it. Like he was safe. But the burn and ache only told him he was wrong, _oh how stupid he was._

Not only was he in love with a boy, but the boy didn’t love him back. It could cost him his life, but he couldn’t bear to tell anyone. He wouldn’t be able to look them in their eyes. He didn’t want the pity from his peers or the fear in his parents’ eyes. He just wanted-

“Kageyama.” Kenma turned away from his computer at the sound of Hinata’s voice. He didn’t see much. Just the orange-haired boy laying on his back while staring at the tiny glowing stars stuck onto the ceiling.

“What?” 

“That’s who it is.”

Kenma wasn’t quite sure why he was surprised. Thinking about it now, it made a lot of sense and seemed pretty obvious. He flopped onto his bed next to Hinata with one thought. _If I didn’t notice, then nobody else has._

“Tell me about him,” Kenma asked. Sure he had met Kageyama before, but he was Hinata’s best friend and he knew him better. The two spent so much time together it only made sense that he’d know him so well. Not only that, but he wanted to hear what exactly the shorter boy saw in him. He knew he’d said the right thing because a small smile tugged on Hinata’s lips and he moved his hands from his waist to his fluffy hair.

He raked them through his hair before settling them behind his head with a sigh, “God, where do I even start? He’s just so amazing.”

“I thought you said he was scary like a sabertooth tiger.”

“Well, yeah, he can be scary, but I know he won’t actually hurt me.” Hinata laughed softly at what he was about to say, “Ya know, he’s really a big softie. His mom told me that when he was younger, his sister sprained her ankle and he was so scared he slept in her room for a whole week.”

“Or there was the time we were in a fight, but I was sick, so he showed up with meat buns and soup. He sat there in the doorway the whole time just to keep me company while we ate.” He paused for a moment, “I kinda see him in the little things now.”

“Hell, even grocery shopping. I’ll walk down the dairy aisle and think about what kind of milk I think he would like. His favorite is strawberry by the way. I’ll hear his favorite podcast on and turn it off just so I can hear him talk about it later like he always does. Because any reason to hear his voice is reason enough.” Hinata stopped to think about his next words before laughing again, “Have- Have you ever noticed his hair when he sets. It’s so funny. It goes up and flops right back down into the same place… always.”

“We were hanging out the other day and suddenly he got this pout on his face, When I asked what was wrong, he just said he felt like animals didn't like him. You should have seen it. He looked so cute.”

“When he genuinely smiles, he just gets this pink tinge in his cheeks, and I know he tries to hide it. To everyone else, he’s Mr. Tough Guy, but to me… he’s everything but that. He’s this soft guy who cares but is too scared to show it. Sometimes he gets this look when I’m about to go home as if I’ll never come back. I don’t know a lot about it, but whatever his last friends did really fucked him up.”

“I don’t want him to think I’d ever leave him, because I never will. I don’t want to, and I don’t think I could even if I tried. The only thing that could stop me is death.” Kenma sat up, tears threatening to spill over his eyes. His lip quivered, and with shaky hands, he stuck his pinky finger in Hinata's direction.

“Promise me.”

“What?” Hinata asked, sitting up in one swift motion.

“Promise me… that you won’t leave me too.” Kenma knew that he was running out of time. That eventually, the flowers would take over. He wished that the boy would just get the surgery, but he couldn’t bear making the selfish request. Hinata didn’t deserve to die, but he didn’t deserve to never love again.

So this stupid pinky-promise was his last bit of hope. That maybe, just maybe, if he sealed it, he wouldn't have to go. Kenma already had panic attacks, and losing him would only add to the list of trauma and anxiety. Unlike his other problems, dying his hair won’t save Hinata or his mental health. He only felt somewhat relieved when Hinata moved his small finger out without hesitation.

“Only if we can play animal crossing?” He tried bargaining with Kenma. The semi-blonde boy just smiled softly and hummed in agreement.

The team had been hanging out at Daichi’s house, eagerly trying to finish a movie. It seemed as though none of them had the attention span for this. Hinata had just gotten back from the bathroom. Everyone was yet to notice the disheveled look on his face or the way his skin became significantly paler in those few minutes he’d been gone. Without a second thought, the orange-haired boy flopped down on top of Kageyama. The taller boy grunted at the impact of the falling body.

“Get off me, Dumbass.” Kageyama tried to push him off of his lap, but the boy’s grip on his leg tightened. This only resulted in the setter pushing harder to remove him from his body, though secretly, he didn’t care all too much. He didn’t care all too much to wonder why either.

“Let me cuddle you!”

“No, get the fuck off of me!”

“Daichi, Kageyama won’t cuddle with me,” Hinata complained. The captain just sighed with an amused glint in his brown eyes. He wasn’t quite sure how he dealt with the two so far without killing them both.

“Obviously no one’s watching the movie so should I just order a pizza?” Daichi asked while switching the channel to a volleyball game. He got various forms of yes in response. Suga, who was sitting oddly close, handed Daichi his phone and he began asking around to compromise on an order.

Kageyama didn’t know when he’d stopped struggling against Hinata, or when his head stilled in his lap. He looked so peaceful like this. Usually, he was bouncing off the walls with energy but like this, he looked different. He couldn’t place a name to what kind of difference it was or the funny feeling in his chest. It was an unfamiliar feeling, one he doesn’t think he’d ever had before.

_His hair looks so fluffy._ Kageyama had to resist the urge to run his fingers through the orange curls. He ultimately decided to just do it. Hesitantly at first, he gently brushed the hair out of Hinata’s eyes. _Pretty._ This wasn’t the first time Kageyama had thoughts like that about a boy. It was however the first time he’d associated the word with the boy in his lap.

When his fingers laced through Hinata’s hair his breath stalled. _Why is his hair so-_

“Soft.”

“Ahem- what was that?”

He quickly looked up to see everyone staring at him with either a surprised look or a knowing grin. He wanted nothing more than to punch the shit-eating one right off of Tsukishima’s face. He withdrew his hand like he’d been caught.

“What?”

“Oh nothing,” Daichi said gingerly with a smile, “isn’t that right Tsuki?”

The latter’s smirk faltered for a second. Daichi had this incredible ability when it came to threatening people. If you didn’t know him well enough you wouldn’t have known it was there. It was quite the talent.

Noise began to fill the room once more as everyone returned to what they’d been doing moments prior. Kageyama’s eyes drifted off to the carpet in thought. Why did I do that? He didn’t like everyone watching him, especially during an act so affectionate. It’s not like Kageyama liked Hinata.

The latter shuffled a bit into a more comfortable position and the taller boy stilled. If Hinata was moving in his sleep then he didn't want to wake him, not when he’d finally been quiet for once. Fortunately, all he did was nudge Kageyama’s hand with his nose.

“Do that again.” 

He wasn’t sure what to do. Usually, he’d have pushed him off by now and called him a ‘dumbass’, but part of him wanted to feel the soft curls against his fingers. It was as fluffy as it looked. He wanted so badly to feel it again but anxiety started bubbling in his stomach.

What if the team stared at him again. What if they judged him. What if they thought he was weird and kicked him off. What if-

His thoughts were cut off by the loud cackling coming from Tanaka. As his eyes swept the room his nerves started to cool down to a simmer. No one was paying attention to him anymore.

Without a second thought, his hand found its way to the bunch of orange locks in his lap.

While Kageyama had been nervous, Hinata turned to putty in his hands. The cold of his hands felt soothing against the heat of his skin, sending small tingles up his back. 

He hummed into the touch, into the gentle strokes. He had a supple amount of energy but now he was feeling undeniably tired. The slender hands worked their way through his hair with care and thought, but he must have mistaken it, because there’s no way Kageyama would care about him like that. Right?

It wasn’t long until the shorter boy fell asleep, but in his defense, anyone would if they were in the same circumstances. It also wasn’t long until the food arrived and everyone started to make their way to the kitchen.

“Are you gonna come to eat?” Daichi asked, pointing a thumb over his shoulder.

Kageyama hadn’t even noticed everyone leave the room, and he didn’t plan on waking up the boy. Not for the reason most would think either. He found it calming when he raked his fingers through the boys hair, and he looked peaceful in his sleep. Kageyama wouldn’t dream of waking up the boy.

“No, I don’t wanna wake him up.” He saw the corner of Daichi’s lips twitch and didn’t hesitate before defending himself. “Hey it’s not like that. If he wakes up that means I have to deal with his annoying ass.”

Karasuno’s captain didn’t look too thoroughly convinced but he made no comment nevertheless. For that, Kageyama was grateful. Saving him the embarrassment the second time around was the least he could do after all.

“We’ll save some for both of you.”

“Thank you,” was all he could muster up to say, a pink tinge slowly making its way to his cheeks. He wasn’t quite used to feeling like this yet. All warm to the touch and nervous. Usually with Hinata he could be confident and blunt. This was nothing of the sort.

Hinata knew he shouldn’t be doing this. Exposing himself to affection from Kageyama. He was already deep enough, drowning in the hopelessness of his unrequited love. But oh well. The cold of Kageyama’s hands were so relaxing, especially when making small, stroking motions through his hair. If he were to die at the hands of the setter, he wouldn’t seem to mind all too much.

Everything was so perfect. The white noise of the ac, the quiet noise from the tv, and Hinata’s smooth breathing almost, almost, lulled him to sleep. He soon found his eyes dropping down as the days exhausted hit him all at once. His thoughts were swarming in his head like butterflies. _Fuck. I can’t fall asleep like this. I need to wake up._ He refused to let his eyes close. He was more opposed to the fact that the cause of this was the puddle of orange hair in his lap. Despite his disapproval, his head fell back against the couch

He dreamt of tufts of ginger hair and warm, amber eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> To everyone who decided to read my fic THANK YOU!!!! I plan to make it somewhere around 4 chapters (15,000-20,000 words). I have a lot of school work and stress so I'm going to take my time updating it to make sure every chapter is as best as it could be.


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